This is an Ahsoka fanfiction. It kicks off before the show, will extend through the end of season one, and hopefully conclude with post-show content before season two of the real thing airs. Let me know how I’m doing in the comments!
I spent some time researching fonts. Then I just changed it to something I thought was prettier. Let me know if it is more or less readable. 🙂
Rating: General, Spice Level: None
Characters/Tags: Original Character, Master and Apprentice Relationships, Original Female Character, Original Jedi Character, Ahsoka Tano, Huyang
Read Chapter 6 – There is No Chaos
Chapter 7 – All is as the Force Wills It
The sky drifted toward the orange-red sunset when Kendra left her meditative and healing trance. Healing was much easier if you didn’t try to do it while fighting.
Her ribs were still on fire, and it hurt to breathe, but no longer felt like they might puncture her lung. Hundreds of scratches from thorns stung across her skin, and a few missed thorns still pressed in through her clothes. She felt awful, but smelled food.
“Ready to eat?” Ahsoka sat next to the fire, cooking some meat on a spit. A small metal pot sat steaming on the coals nearby.
“As long as it isn’t the Tarnox,” Kendra said.
“Not Tarnox,” Ahsoka said. “Rabbit, and broth.”
“That works.” Kendra started to stand and groaned.
“You can stay there. Passing out won’t help either of us.” Ahsoka pulled some of the meat off into a small bowl before pouring some broth over it.
Kendra accepted and drained half the broth in the first gulp. “I’m starving.”
“Ever healed yourself for six hours before?”
“No,” Kendra said. “Nothing like this.”
“You may need more than the rabbit. Looks like you packed more.”
“I was afraid I packed too much.” Kendra pulled out the meat with her fingers and took a bite.
Ahsoka pulled the entire rabbit off and brought it to Kendra’s bowl. She set the pot of broth next to the Padawan. At Kendra’s questioning look, she said, “I brought some food too. I didn’t do as much today.”
Kendra dug into the meal, drinking the broth like water. She was thankful for the fire’s heat and the broth’s warmth, as she started to shiver like she had the night before.
Ahoska tossed her a blanket from her pack. “That’s normal too, being cold. It’ll get better with food. And more experience.”
Kendra wrapped herself up in the blanket. She felt like she’d had a lot of experience packed into the last two days. It was exhausting and a little frightening. Would this be her life if she went with Ahsoka? She chewed on another bite, more slowly as she realized how much her jaw hurt, and stared into the fire.
“You did well today.”
“It still doesn’t feel like it,” Kendra said. Her first real fight, and she would have died without Ahsoka. “Thank you for the help when he threw me. And for saving me before he stomped on me.”
“The goal was a test, not your death.”
“Why the test?” As glad as she was that she didn’t die, why didn’t the other woman fight with her? “Are there more?”
“If you’re to come with me, I need to know what you’ll do, how you’ll act. Not shutting down when scared is good in any of those situations. You’ll always be tested, but I won’t stand back the next time you’re in a fight.”
“And Master Edith knew?”
“That much was decided before I arrived. Your master is confident in you, but the test was her idea. You need to be confident in yourself.”
Kendra didn’t feel more confident in herself. Master Edith wanted her to face the Tarnox, but had never brought her in this direction from their hut. “Why not earlier?”
Ahsoka smiled. “I think your master could have saved you, but she didn’t want to risk your life on her skills.”
Kendra nodded, unsure of what else to say. It took a while, but she finished the meat and the broth. She settled into picking the remaining thorns out of her clothes, starting with the back of her pants. Rotating to reach proved painful, so she paused to begin her light healing touch again. Out of habit, she extended it to Ahsoka.
Ahsoka rolled her shoulders and sighed. “That doesn’t make you hungry or cold?”
“No,” Kendra said. “I guess I’m used to doing it.”
“Good, see you already have skills that have grown easier with time. The rest will come.”
“How?” Kendra looked across at Ahsoka. “Like, how does one get experience in all these things?” She knew she wanted to see the rest of the galaxy and get this experience, but how did it happen? Her experience with Master Edith had been organized. Planned.
“It has been difficult lately,” Ahsoka said. “But Jedi generally went from problem to problem. Not all of them required fighting. There’s a lot of learning as you go, facing each problem.”
That sounded like a good way to die.
Ahsoka said, “Edith says you meditate frequently.”
“I try.”
“Your master may not have been able to spar with you much, but she has great wisdom. Lightsaber skills can be developed much more quickly with a strong connection to the Force, which you clearly have. We can work on that if you go with me.”
“Where will you go after this?” Kendra asked, unwilling to say “we” yet.
“I am trying to find an Imperial admiral,” Ashoka said. “I’ve caught one of his accomplices and got some information from her, but I’m missing details to track him down. So I’ll be looking for clues. That may involve going to busy places, talking to people, or exploring other secluded worlds. And the enemy might appear anywhere, anytime.”
“What will happen if you don’t find him?”
“He’s currently lost, which is a much longer story for a later time. If they find him first, they’ll bring him back, and we’ll have another war. The New Republic isn’t ready for that. Many more people will die.”
Although Kendra didn’t have access to any official number, it seemed likely that billions had already died over the last three decades. Many more had needlessly suffered. Was Kendra ready to face that? She was physically exhausted and mentally drained from half a day’s walk and a single fight.
Kendra asked, “What if I don’t want to go?”
“From here? You stay. That’s easy. If you’re with me, you can leave.” Ahsoka paused. “I’m not your master. You’re not my padawan. You’re free to stay or go, your choice.”
Even as Ahsoka spoke, Kendra felt the tug of longing she’d long held. She was meant to help. “But if I come with you?”
“If you’re with me, on my ship or in the field, you’ll need to trust my lead, and I’ll trust you to follow it. If either of us wants something different, I know people who’d be happy to have a healer. But, I’d also be happy to have a healer.”
“It will be dangerous?”
“Yes,” Ahsoka said. “There are more dangerous things you could choose to do, of course, but an option like working for the New Republic as a healer might not be. But the future is always in motion, and there is no promise of safety anywhere.”
Earlier, she’d been thrust into danger. Going with Ahsoka meant she’d be choosing to go into danger. A loud growl from her stomach interrupted her thoughts.
Ahsoka asked, “Should I go get another rabbit? Or we could try the Tarnox.”
Kendra yawned again and dug into her pack. “I’ll use one of the rations I packed.”
She ate the dry ration and resumed removing the thorn from her clothes while Ahoska cleaned up and prepared their little camp for the night. The older woman was very different from Master Edith and also different from the Jedi Kendra envisioned. She shook her head, remembering something else from the fight. “Why are your lightsabers white?”
“There was a time I was without any lightsabers.” Ahsoka paused, eyes distant. “I faced an inquisitor and took his. They were damaged and red. I purified the crystals to use in these.”
Kendra’s brain was a little slow after the day’s events, but the meaning hit her almost as hard as the Tarnox. “You defeated an inquisitor without a lightsaber?”
“There’s more to being a Jedi than the lightsaber,” Ahsoka said. “You should get some more rest.”
“Wow.” Kendra couldn’t understand how to fight a lightsaber without a weapon. But she was tired, and now she was full and warm.
She lay back on her mat and stared at the sky. Everything was going to hurt in the morning, she knew. What would the next day bring? Hopefully not another fight. And if it did, maybe she’d remember she had a lightsaber.
~~~~
Kendra hadn’t felt this bad since the day after Master Edith had let her try Kowakian rum. And she didn’t need to walk that day, carry a pack, or be polite to another person as she’d hidden from Master Edith. She certainly had not found a very large hill to climb.
The trail after the Tarnox quickly became more rocky, windy, and uphill. They were approaching the mountains she could see on clear days from Fernwood. Hopefully, they would not need to climb one of them.
Ahsoka had taken some of her pack, and she slowed the pace. And Kendra did heal while they walked. But there was only so much she could do after being tossed around by a Tarnox. She couldn’t imagine being good enough to stop it like Ahsoka had. How did one get enough experience to not die in a fight without dying in a fight?
“Are you thinking about the Tarnox?” Ahsoka asked.
Could she read minds? “How did you know?”
“You aren’t asking about anything else, and it was your first fight.”
“Oh.”
Ahsoka stopped and pulled her canteen from her pack to drink water. “We should be getting close.”
Kendra took a drink from her own canteen. “You said you’re looking for something at this outpost?”
“Yes,” Ahsoka said. “Luke Skywalker sent me to get you at the request of Senator Organa. He is trying to rebuild the Jedi Order, and any materials could be helpful.”
“What happened to all the information the Jedi had?”
“The Empire purged it.” Ahsoka returned the canteen to her pack and resumed walking, more briskly than before.
Kendra rushed to stow her own canteen and keep up. “How did he become a Jedi if he didn’t have it?”
“Like you, a Jedi did find him. Master Obi Wan Kenobi, and then Yoda.”
“You said Luke was somebody’s son?”
“Anakin Skywalker.” Ahsoka tensed. “He was a very powerful Jedi, strong in the Force. And my master, before I left.”
Was he involved in the false accusation and the feeling of betrayal? How had he had a child? She decided against asking, as Ahsoka again sped up and crested a small ridge.
“There it is,” Ahsoka said.
The trail widened at the top of the ridge and then dropped into a small valley. Not more than half a mile away, a stone structure broke the continuous line of trees to the right side of the trail. It was a single-story building, surrounded by low stone walls. While it was larger than any of the buildings in Fernwood, there were places of that size in Timberwood.
“Is that music?” Kendra asked, hearing an unmistakable, light hum. “It changes as we get closer.”
“A wind wall, perhaps,” Ahsoka said. “Some outposts would arrange the stones of their building or walls to capture the breeze and produce sounds.”
Kendra had never heard of such a thing. “That’s beautiful.”
Ahsoka said, “Let’s take a look.”
The outpost felt less imposing close up. Vines crawled over the stones, and the waist-high wall lay damaged and broken in spots. They passed through an arched entrance, with unreadable words etched into the weathered stone above.
Limestone pavers lined overgrown pathways to the corners of the courtyard, and wildflowers crept through the tall grass growing in the beds between. Sandstone benches lined the paths, all with curious shapes. Kendra realized the benches were the source of the notes, but could not identify whether design or the Force was at work.
Ahsoka said, “They would meditate here and meet with the local people. Many years before the Clone Wars, most Jedi spent their lives away from the Temple with the people of the galaxy.”
Another, smaller walled-in area sat to the side of the garden. The ground was mostly sand, and weeds grew sparsely. More writing appeared inside the walls, and some was readable. “Peace before aggression.”
Kendra imagined Jedi sparring in this space, lightsabers flashing under the sun. “How many Jedi were here?”
“I’m not sure,” Ahsoka said. “Some outposts had only a few, but others were small enclaves.”
Large wooden doors, now rotted, hung aside at the front entrance. A small bit of metal next to the door reflected light. Kendra pulled the vines back to expose a transmitter, long broken.
“That’s an Imperial sensor.” Ahsoka bent to examine the device.
“They were here?”
Ahsoka stood. “What better place to look for fugitive Jedi than an old Jedi outpost?”
The peace of the garden was broken with the realization that the Empire had been on Celestoria, looking for Jedi. “When?” Kendra asked.
Ahsoka moved through the front door. “Probably early on, when they still actively hunted us. That transmitter is at least as old as you.”
Kendra stared after her. “Did Master Edith know?”
“Why do you think she was adamant about keeping you hidden? She may not have said anything, so you wouldn’t worry.”
Kendra shook her head to try to clear the thought and walked inside. The foyer held more benches and stone planters, long empty. Doors opened to halls and rooms on either side.
A large granite table and disintegrating remains of wooden chairs identified the dining room. The kitchen held a prominent fireplace, and scratches marred the stone floor where cooking equipment had been moved. Shelves cut into the walls marked the library, though no tomes or equipment remained. A hallway led to eight small, square rooms for sleeping quarters.
“They didn’t have much,” Kendra said.
“That was the goal,” Ahsoka replied.
Another hall led to a pile of rubble, leading to another room. Blaster fire marred the walls, and chunks of the ceiling lay on the floor.
“A door the Empire couldn’t open,” Ahsoka said. “It may have required the Force to move.”
Light poured in through an opening in the ceiling to reveal a circular room below. Curved benches sat away from the wall, also in a circle.
“Why didn’t they just go through the roof?” Kendra asked.
“That is not the Empire’s way.”
Designs and writing covered the walls, and they had fared better with time due to some protection from the elements. The Jedi Code, as Kendra knew it, took up a whole panel.
Another section represented part of the galaxy, with stars and planets around them. An explosion lay on the left, sending pieces to the right at the systems. Small figures with lightsabers served as Jedi standing between the explosion and the planets.
“The Great Hyperspace Disaster, I think.” Ahsoka ran her fingers over some of the planets. “Have you heard of it?”
“I read about it,” Kendra said, “but the story didn’t have any Jedi.”
“The Empire rewrote it,” Ahsoka said. “You can’t have Jedi responsible for saving lives, even in the history holos. You’ll have to ask Huyang about it.”
Kendra nodded. “What was this room for?”
“Meditation.” Ahsoka wiped off part of one of the benches, looked up at the sunlight coming through the ceiling, and sat. She closed her eyes.
Kendra looked at the walls for a moment, wondering if she should also meditate. Some of the writing was in a language she didn’t understand, but other sections she could read. She paused in front of a panel, struck by its words.
The Force is with me,
And I am one with the Force;
And I fear nothing,
Because all is as the Force wills it.
Master Edith occasionally said, “I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me.” Kendra wondered if it was related to this older quote.
Another panel showed a Jedi, lightsaber on their side, tending to an injured man. There was no sign that the Jedi healed using the Force; instead, they used bandages. Nearby, a Jedi handed food to children. Two Jedi held a cloak or poncho over an older woman as rain fell.
Kendra sat on a bench opposite Ahsoka and closed her eyes. The Force was strong at the outpost, and she easily connected to it fully before starting her meditation. She wasn’t sure if it was the room or their proximity, but she also felt connected to Ahsoka.
Her ribs ached, and her scratches itched, but she heard music from the outside benches. They were louder inside than they had been in the garden; surely a work of the Force. This room called the Jedi here to peace, even amidst pain and chaos.
The fear she felt facing the Tarnox returned, not to challenge this peace, but so it could be processed somehow. She’d been so afraid she’d forgotten her lightsaber, but she hadn’t run. The beast would have killed her, but she wasn’t alone.
The fear sat like a dense rock in the lake of her experience. Kendra imagined pulling it out of the flow of her life and putting this fear on one of the shelves in the outpost’s library. It was a real thing, and she would never forget, but it could rest among the rest of her memories. And experience.
Her feelings shifted to space and the galaxy around them, though she remained tethered to Celestoria, to Master Edith. The bond stretched and tugged against itself. A familiar longing to leave, but a desire to stay. The Force pulled her away from this place. There were people who needed her elsewhere. A new connection grew, one with the woman in the room with her.
The conflict in her heart strove against this pull, wanting to remain with Master Edith. The attachment she felt toward her master was normal, but also limiting. Feelings of safety with her master and discomfort with the idea of leaving filled her with fear greater than the fear she held when facing the Tarnox.
She looked at the fear she’d placed in the imaginary library in her mind. It was dead, moving nothing toward life. It would drag everything else down with it if she let it.
Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet the Force.
What was the Force asking of her? If she placed aside the feelings of attachment, fear, or sadness, the answer was clear. She was to leave Celestoria with Ahsoka. She would miss Master Edith, be afraid of new experiences, and be sad about leaving her home. But she would go. The Force would be with her.
The building rumbled as she opened her eyes. Ahsoka was no longer in the room, and the shadows indicated it had been some time since she began meditation. A ship landed nearby, and Kendra sensed her master aboard. She stood and exited the chamber slowly, thankful for its revelations.
Huyang’s circular gold photoreceptors glowed in the dim hallway light as he carried a large metal container past Kendra. “It is good to see you again. I will get a scan of the contents of this room to share with Master Luke.”
Kendra nodded and continued outside. She found Master Edith sitting on a bench.
“You look older already, somehow.” Master Edith scooted to the left to leave room for Kendra.
Kendra thought the same of Master Edith, though it had only been a day. She sat, but did not know what to say.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the Tarnox,” Master Edith said. “It had to be a secret.”
“A secret,” Kendra repeated. “Is that why you told me you failed your trial?”
“Perhaps.” Master Edith paused. “Or perhaps there will be more tests to try and fail to come. But you will succeed eventually.”
“Will I?”
“Kendra, we never know what will happen. That is true for everyone. All we can do is trust in the Force and follow it, and know whatever happens to us individually, the Force guides all.”
“Like it guided you to me?”
“Indeed,” Master Edith said. “I was very mad at it for a good while.”
“What?” Kendra asked.
“Oh, not because of you. You were a wonderful child. I was mad because I had a plan. I was going to park myself right where my shuttle is and die peacefully in my old age, if at all possible. I’d know if the Empire came through Fernwood, and I knew when they visited the outpost. I could stay hidden.”
“But then I came along.”
“Right,” Master Edith said, “and then I could not die peacefully in my old age. I actually had to care if the Empire came through Fernwood or returned to the outpost. I had to try to train you while also staying hidden. And you are not one the Force wants to keep hidden.”
“And now it wants me to leave.”
“It does,” Master Edith said. “And you should. Then I can still die peacefully in my old age.”
Kendra looked away in a failed attempt to avoid crying.
“You are going to be sad for a while, Kendra.” Master Edith touched her arm. “But it will get less and less. You’ll want to feel guilty about that. Don’t.”
Kendra wiped her face. “When do I leave?”
“I imagine tomorrow or the next day. You have to help me move my things. Huyang helped me pack many items into the ship today, but we still need to move them into the house in Fernwood. No getting out of manual labor before you go.”
“Of course, Master.”
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