This is an Ahsoka fanfiction. It kicks off before the show, will extend through the end of season one, and hopefully conclude with post-show content before season two of the real thing airs. Let me know how I’m doing in the comments!
I’ve started loading chapters into Archive of Our Own. Let me know if you follow over there!
Rating: General, Spice Level: None
Characters/Tags: Original Character, Master and Apprentice Relationships, Original Female Character, Original Jedi Character, Ahsoka Tano, Huyang
Read Chapter 11 – Echoes in the Temple
Chapter 12 – Again
“How do we lose the record of a planet?” Kendra asked. The data stick contained the final information Ahsoka needed to locate Arcana, and they were on day three of a two-week estimated journey to the abandoned planet.
Huyang pulled his training cylinders from the closet. “There are an estimated 400 billion stars, more than 3.2 billion habitable star systems, and at least 1 billion inhabited worlds. There are many more that were once inhabited and now abandoned. It would be easy to miss a few in the count.”
“Especially if someone didn’t want it found,” Ahsoka added.
The missing planet was purportedly supposed to help them locate where the space whales had taken an Imperial Grand Admiral ten years earlier. They had high expectations for a rock in space nobody had bothered to remember. If someone did remember it and was hiding it, then it might be dangerous. Kendra had to train.
Kendra took a wooden blade from the closet and stood in front of Huyang to begin her form training for the day. They’d been working on Form 3, Soresu, a defensive form designed to allow the Jedi to ward off attacks until their opponent made a mistake. It made more sense to Kendra than Ahsoka’s more aggressive style.
Huyang’s extra two arms extended from his back. He clicked on the training cylinders, and the set of four holographic yellow tubes appeared.
“Set,” Huyang said.
The droid called out numbers as Kendra worked through the stances, slowly at first but speeding up with time. They went through the exercises four times while Ahsoka watched. It seemed she always judged but rarely spoke when Kendra trained.
During a break, Kendra tucked the wooden sword under her arm and took several drinks from her water bottle. She thought she’d been in good shape on Celestoria, but every day on Ahsoka’s ship made her leaner and stronger. It was exhausting.
Ahsoka said, “Let’s add something for a bit of a change. Can you heal others while you do your forms?”
Kendra paused to think. “Maybe.”
“You can do it while walking.” Ahsoka’s voice held a challenge. “And you did some during the fight with the Tarnox.”
“Sure,” Kendra said. “I can try.”
Ahsoka opened her mouth but then shut it. She leaned against the wall behind Huyang. “Good. We can both be less sore.”
As she took her place opposite Huyang, Kendra doubted Ahsoka felt terribly sore. The woman’s energy was inexhaustible, and she barely broke a sweat when training with Kendra. Kendra healed herself every night just so her muscles wouldn’t hurt as much when she rolled over sleeping.
“Set,” Huyang said.
Kendra began, working through each number as Huyang called them. They went slowly as she also extended her soft healing aura, as Ahsoka had named it. Move after move, parry after parry, Kendra held her interior gaze on the great Force lake, which she envisioned surrounding them. When Huyang revealed the accuracy at the end of the exercise, it showed a significant dip.
“Not terrible,” Ahsoka said. “Again.”
Kendra prepared herself to start and felt her connection to the lake falter. She stepped back and closed her eyes.
“A fight won’t wait for you to focus,” Ahsoka said.
Kendra resumed her position and reached out to the Force.
Huyang reset. “Set.”
She didn’t feel well connected to the Force for healing or for the forms, and stuttered through each step with Huyang, ultimately falling behind his count. She grunted in frustration.
Ahsoka raised an eyebrow but said nothing as Huyang reset. Kendra began again.
They repeated this three times. Sweat collected at Kendra’s waistline, between her shoulder blades, and at her temples. Her right hand cramped around the wooden sword; she actively relaxed it, but almost lost focus on the healing. She lost a little more accuracy with each round.
“Again,” Ahsoka said.
She was starting to hate that word. Kendra took a deep breath and reset, starting the exercise with Huyang. Her accuracy did not drop at the end, and remained constant the next two times Ahsoka demanded they keep going.
“Good,” Ahsoka said.
Kendra stood panting across from Huyang, bent over at the waist, trying to catch her breath. She dropped the healing as she reached for the water bottle.
“Again,” Ahsoka said.
“Seriously?” Kendra asked.
“Yes. Your form depends on your ability to outlast your opponent, and the ability to focus on more than one thing at a time will protect you from surprises.”
Kendra sighed and wiped her hands on her pants, eyes drifting between Huyang and Ahsoka. Was this what Jedi training was supposed to be like? How could anyone keep up their concentration for this long?
Seconds passed as Kendra locked eyes with Ahsoka. She wasn’t seriously considering refusing, but frustration rose in her chest and tension grew in her temples. The suggestion that she might need to fight longer sparked unexpected defiance.
“If we’re fighting together, I may need you to heal both of us while you defend yourself. I can be more aggressive, but I need to know you can hold your own.” Ahsoka crossed her arms.
Some part of Kendra recognized the logic of Ahsoka’s words, but she was tired. The fight with the Tarnox hadn’t lasted a quarter of the time she’d been training already today.
Huyang broke the tension. “I recommend we continue, though perhaps you drink some water first.”
Ahsoka did not move. Kendra relented, nodded, and took several sips of water before resuming her position. She managed to not puke.
“Set,” Huyang said, and they started again.
The next day, Kendra did her forms while holding four of the other wooden swords aloft with the Force. The day after that, she dueled Ahsoka while two training droids shot blaster bolts at her to parry. She never performed as well as when she focused on only one thing at a time, but she could tell a noticeable difference in her ability. They trained until Kendra’s clothes were soaked in sweat and her muscles twitched from exertion.
Ten days after leaving Coruscant, Kendra knelt in meditation in the training room. Nothing she’d faced so far since leaving Master Edith fit neatly into what she’d expected as a Jedi. She found her meditation time the only familiar space in her new life.
Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet the Force.
The hum of the engine replaced the rush of the waterfall. Huyang’s movement and tinkering with ship components served as the birds and other wildlife had previously.
And what was Ahsoka? Not her master, in actuality or even as a similar stand-in for Master Edith. The Torgruta was guarded, distant, and disciplined. She seemed to challenge Kendra at every step, though it didn’t feel malicious.
When Kendra wasn’t frustrated and tired, she could understand a lifelong fighter would have high expectations. That she’d be reserved and cautious. When she was on the edge of her capability and focus, Ahsoka’s insistence rattled her resolve. The older woman’s calm persistence aggravated Kendra beyond rational thought in those moments.
Kendra hadn’t felt like she’d been able to relax fully since leaving Celestoria. Following the Force was a lot easier when very little happened or changed. It was easier when one wasn’t tired and sore.
She knew there was no way to survive other than to follow the Force, because trying to follow everything else, keep track of it, and control it was beyond impossible. However, that made her always a little on edge, trying to remain connected, which required her to be relaxed.
She let out a deep breath and started reciting the Jedi Code in her mind again. Things were easier on Celestoria.
It would be difficult to describe what she felt when she meditated, other than at peace. Those who had never felt the Force consciously would not understand. To those with a deep connection, it was impossible to forget. Time passed without its normal sensation, and everything was quiet in her mind. She could remain aware of her surroundings, especially since she’d been training with Ahsoka.
She felt, rather than heard, a voice in the Force on this day. She could recall only a few times in her life that had happened, and she never did remember what was communicated precisely. On this day, though, hurtling into the unknown of space, it was simple and clear: “Trust her.”
Kendra let the thought wash over her mind. There was only one “her” that the Force could be referencing.
She felt Ahsoka enter the room as a bright ripple in the Force. The older Jedi stood a few feet in front of Kendra, staring down at her. Kendra resisted the urge to shift her weight under that gaze or open her eyes. She held her focus and fell back into the trance she’d found earlier, trying to find the voice that assured her she should follow this woman.
Master Edith had said connecting to the Living Force was always dangerous, in that it might tell you things you did not want to hear or call you to do things you did not want to do. Kendra didn’t consider that the case here, as she did trust Ahsoka, even if her expectations were difficult to attain.
What could it mean?
The ripples moved and Kendra found herself being pushed against by the Force. She did not move. She opened her eyes.
Ahsoka still stood in front of her. She nodded. “When you are centered, I can’t push you with the Force.”
“Huh.” Kendra shouldn’t have been surprised, but this was the first time she’d successfully blocked Ahsoka’s attempt to move her.
Ahsoka said, “When we are connected to the Force and at peace, we don’t even need to try not to be thrown.”
“Great,” Kendra said. “All I need to do now is stay fully within the Force while trying not to die in a fight.”
“You have a high level of attention for whatever you’re doing. It is a strength and a weakness.”
“It doesn’t feel like much of a strength right now.”
“I don’t think you’d be as good at healing without it. When you are more practiced with the lightsaber, I think it will carry over well there.”
Kendra felt incredibly behind. The Jedi of before surely were skilled at this by her age. Ahsoka had fought in the Clone Wars when she was even younger than Kendra.
Ahsoka said, “You knew to go into deep meditation when healing Evan on Celestoria. You’ll need to work on doing that with everything; surrendering yourself to the Force even as you move.”
More experience. Practice. Time. Things Kendra didn’t think she’d have enough of before she needed to use any of it.
“You’re very focused on your frustration. You have to let that go.”
Kendra took a deep breath and fought against the frustration that flared in response to the advice.
“You’re not going to be able to stop your feelings,” Ahsoka said. “What I’m suggesting is you worry about them less.”
“Easier said than done,” Kendra muttered.
“Always,” Ahsoka said. “The frustration just means you care.”
“Master Edith would tell me to meditate more.” It usually worked, too. That was on Celestoria, when things did not happen as quickly. When things were not as hard. When Kendra was not so tired, sore, and uncertain.
Ahsoka frowned briefly. “Meditation is critical for a Jedi. It doesn’t stop us from having feelings, though. It can help us decide what to do with them.”
Kendra didn’t understand, but nodded anyway. Trust her, she remembered.
“You’re doing great,” Ahsoka said. “A lot has happened in the last few weeks, and you’ve taken it all in and kept going.”
“I didn’t think we’d stop.”
“No,” Ahsoka laughed as she held out her hand. “Let’s eat.”
Kendra took it and rose. “Something I know how to do.”
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