The Catholic Jedi

This is an Ahsoka fanfiction. It kicks off before the show, will extend through the end of season one, and hopefully conclude with post-show content before season two of the real thing airs. Let me know how I’m doing in the comments!

I’ve started loading chapters into Archive of Our Own. Let me know if you follow over there!

Rating: General, Spice Level: None

Characters/Tags: Original Character, Master and Apprentice Relationships, Original Female Character, Original Jedi Character, Ahsoka Tano, Huyang

Read Chapter 14: Shock and Awe

Chapter 15 – Wounds and Warmth

A young officer led Kendra through more corridors of Home One.  The woman was only a few years older than Kendra and wore her brown hair in a tidy, tight bun.  “My mother knew a Jedi,” she said. 

“Oh,” Kendra said.

“Said the Jedi would come to their house whenever he was passing through.”

Kendra was not sure how she should reply.  It was likely the Jedi died, if not in the Clone Wars, then in the time after.

“She said he was always friendly.”  The officer took a corner into a wider hallway, better lit.  A few less injured lay on mobile beds in the corridor.  “Happy to help cook and clean up.”

“Hopefully, I can help some here,” Kendra said.  It sounded like something a Jedi would say, she hoped.  She still wasn’t sure, though.

“They said the people who attacked the Vesper were Jedi, but I don’t believe them.”

“It sounded like they pretended to be,” Kendra said.  And it worked, too.

The officer stopped outside the large doors leading to the medical area.  “But they used the Force.  Doesn’t that make them Jedi?”

Kendra was unprepared to explain how Jedi were supposed to act; how an ancient, dead Order proposed they lived.  She wasn’t sure she understood herself.  “No.  I’ve heard of Jedi who fall to the dark, but I don’t think I’d still call them Jedi.  I don’t understand it, but they can use the Force in ways that are evil.”

The Sith were the enemy of the Jedi for thousands of years.  But Master Edith had said there were many others who did not trust in the Force, but sought to control it.  Kendra couldn’t understand the concept as there was no controlling the Force.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” The woman scanned her badge on a reader next to the doors, and the doors slid open. 

“I am too,” Kendra said.  She meant it, but it also felt like something a Jedi would say.

The officer ducked her head and turned.  “May the Force be with you.”

“Thank you,” Kendra said.  She walked into the room and wondered if anyone had told them she’d be coming.

The bright, open room held many injured patients on mobile beds on either side.  The back of the room led into a hallway with individual rooms.  Medical staff moved calmly, but with purpose, between the wounded.  A quiet tension filled the space.

Nearby, an unconscious man lay on his side with a straight lightsaber gash across the back of his legs.  The weapon cauterized the wound so he didn’t bleed to death, but he would need weeks of treatment to recover their use, if he did at all. 

Next to the unconscious man, a woman sat on the second mobile bed in the line, staring blankly at her amputated hand.  Another clean cut by a lightsaber.  She’d be fitted with a mechanical hand later, if she wanted.  For the moment, she was still in shock.  Each bed held someone with a serious injury and all were lightsaber wounds.

A short non-human with gray skin approached her.  She wasn’t sure what of his species, but he spoke in firm, articulate Basic.  “General Hera said you would be joining us.  What can you do?”

What could she do?  As Ahsoka said, the medical personnel here could treat most of these wounds far more efficiently than her Force healing.  There was no urgent need for her to save someone’s life until proper medical care could be found.  She wasn’t sure she could do that anyway, even if she had with Evan. 

The man waited expectantly. 

This was all she wanted to do on Celestoria, but the only thing she knew for sure she was good at was reducing Master Edith’s aches and pains.  Her mind latched onto that idea.

“I think,” she said finally, “I would like a place to kneel or sit.  Out of the way, of course.”

He didn’t look impressed with the idea, but didn’t argue.  He pointed to a chair beside the unconscious man with the leg wound.  “I guess you can sit there.”

“Thank you.”  She nodded and strode to the chair with all the confidence she could muster.

She sat in the chair and found the Force.  It was odd here in space, but still the same Force.  Still the same feeling of looking out onto a great body of water connecting everything and everyone around her.  The unconscious man glowed in her mind, and she focused on him, and then the woman next to him.  She looked for all the points of light in the room from the patients to the staff, and she surveyed the mental lake.

The staff member who had directed her to her seat stood out with the energy of a leader, but was tired.  Other medical personnel felt to her similarly tired, though a few radiated with enough concern and stress to mask their fatigue in the Force.  The patients drifted, less tired but more lost.

An unexpected and violent attack was sure to shock even those not directly involved.  The peace of the post-war New Republic and new capital ship shattered by only two assailants.  Kendra thought she could tell the difference of those who had seen combat previously and those for whom this was a first, but couldn’t pin down how or why.

She decided it didn’t matter, and dropped into the Jedi Code to focus.

Emotion, yet peace.

Ignorance, yet knowledge.

Passion, yet serenity.

Chaos, yet harmony.

Death, yet the Force.

Her direct healing was not needed here, but she could use the Force to grant some level of lost peace to the victims and tired medical staff.  She lost herself in the great connectivity of the Force, and did what she had done for Master Edith almost every night since she was a child.

As she settled into her meditation, her own stress lessened.  The immediate tension of the room fell away first, but then anxieties about the task in general softened.  Sore muscles from her time training with Ahsoka relaxed, and the thoughts trapped in the corners of her mind about her performance on Arcana slid into the silence.

When Kendra focused on healing others, she didn’t worry about being a good Jedi.  Unlike combat, which required constant thought and attention, healing let her really give into the Force and to let everything else go.  The normal chorus of voices and doubts in her mind quieted and she was truly one with the Force.

The Force is with me,

And I am one with the Force;

And I fear nothing,

Because all is as the Force wills it.

She had no conscious thought as to what she was doing, though she remembered losing herself entirely had almost been a problem when healing Evan.  She pulled back just enough to direct her awareness to the situation around her.

Everyone in the room’s brightness had changed in her mind.  Nothing drastic, just a different tone indicating the Force was at work.  The patients were still shocked by the violence and upset at their injuries, but had some peace about them she could not describe.  The medical personnel remained tired, but something about them felt more steady than before.

Kendra lost track of time in this state, as she had with Evan.  She did maintain her awareness of people coming and going, patients waking and sleeping, and staff performing various tasks around her.  Eventually, she sensed Ahsoka’s presence as the older woman entered the room. She slowly pulled herself away from the lake in her mind and opened her eyes.

Ahsoka nodded in greeting.  “You’ve been at this for a few hours.  Are you getting hungry yet?”

“Hours?” Kendra asked.  Her stomach growled in answer.

Nearby, the man with the laceration on his leg slept quietly.  The woman who had lost her hand did as well.  Medical staff continued their tasks quietly and efficiently, though everything felt calmer.

Kendra yawned, suddenly exhausted herself in addition to being hungry.

“Let’s go eat with Hera and get you back to the ship,” Ahsoka said.  “You did good here.”

As if he’d heard her from across the room, the short man who’d greeted her met Kendra’s eyes and smiled slightly. 

She nodded back and took a deep breath.  And felt like a real Jedi.

~~~

Kendra consciously slowed her movement as she spread butter on the bread Hera offered.  Master Edith had taught her Jedi had served as high diplomats.  She didn’t know much about etiquette, but shoveling food in her mouth seemed inappropriate.  Her stomach growled in protest.

“So you’re a Jedi, too?” Hera’s son, Jacen, sat across from her.  Or tried to sit, as his excitement kept dragging him to his feet like he might climb over the table to get closer to Kendra and Ahsoka.

“I am.”  She stuffed a bite of bread into her mouth and then leaned back to chew, making her feel like she was going more slowly, at least.

Hera’s modest quarters felt homey in the midst of a somewhat sterile capital ship.  A few pieces of art decorated the walls, interspersed with some of Jacen’s creations.  Throw blankets rested on almost every seat, and Hera had handed Kendra one when she sat down without being told the padawan was cold.

The well-worn table could seat ten, or more if they squeezed in.  That clearly happened frequently as two mismatched chairs dragged from other rooms sat against the wall, ready to seat visitors.  Ahsoka and Kendra sat on one side across from Hera and Jacen.  A droid called Chopper spun around Jacen, beeping incessantly at times. 

Hera pushed a bowl of bright orange fruit slices toward Kendra.

Jacen had already eaten, so he had nothing to focus on but the new Jedi.  “Where did you train?”

Kendra took a small bite of the fruit and found it similar to the sample she’d had on Coruscant.  “On Celestoria, with my master.  Edith Galloway.”

He looked at his mother.  “Did she know my dad?”

Chopper paused for the answer.

“She probably taught him at the Temple,” Ahsoka said.

Kendra continued to chew on a bite of bread, happy for the older woman to answer.  Huyang had told Kendra that Jacen’s father was a Jedi before the droid returned to their ship to prepare it for departure.  He’d died in the Rebellion, protecting Hera and the rest of the crew.

“Have you been in a fight?”  Jacen’s dark green hair bounced with him on the chair.

“Not many.”  She ate the rest of the sliced fruit and grabbed two more.  Jacen reminded her of Evan.  Kendra relaxed into the chaos of the conversation.

“Do you know Sabine?” he asked.

Kendra eyed the plate of cheese on the other side of the table.  There were three varieties, and she didn’t recognize any of them.  “I haven’t met her.”

Chopper rolled to Ahsoka and beeped… something.  Kendra didn’t understand but felt like it had to do with Sabine.  His beeps varied in pitch so they almost sounded like words.

“You think so?” Ahsoka asked the droid.

It beeped in response and then returned to Jacen.  It added a final, lower-pitched noise that sounded like sarcasm to Kendra.  How did a droid do that?

“She’s been in a lot of fights!  She’s a Mandalorian.” Jacen said but returned to Kendra.  “Do you have a lightsaber?  Can I see it?”

“I do,” Kendra said, “but maybe not at dinner?”

“Jacen,” Hera corrected softly.  “Let the poor woman eat. She has had a busy day.”

Undeterred, he continued. “Healing people! Chopper told me.  Do all Jedi heal?”

“Which was very appreciated.” Hera slid the plate of cheese toward Kendra.  “Eat.  You’re too thin for space.”

What if it wasn’t cheese?  Kendra placed one of each of the three kinds on her plate.  Felt like cheese.

“How do you do that?”  Jacen asked.

“Um, I don’t know, really.  The Force guides me.”  She started with lightest of the three options and took a bite.  It tasted like cheese.  She popped the rest in her mouth.

“Healing is a rare skill,” Ahsoka said, “even among Jedi.”

“I want to be able to do that,” Jacen said.

Kendra moved on to the other two types of cheese on the plate.  “It makes you hungry.”

Jacen’s face shifted to confusion.

“It is hard work,” Ahsoka said.  “Just like other work.”

“And Jedi are good at different things, just like other people,” Hera said.

“What was dad good at?”

“Lots of things.” Hera smiled but her eyes grew distant. “Though not healing.”

“I want to be a Jedi,” Jacen said.

“Well, in that case,” Hera said, “you’ll need to get to bed.  Jedi need plenty of rest.”

“It is true,” Ahsoka added.

Kendra nodded, trying to be helpful.  She could go to bed soon, too.

“But they just got here!”

Hera said, “And you got to stay up late to see them.”

“Can Chopper come with me?” he asked.

“Fine, but Chopper you stop talking to him in twenty minutes.”

“Can I send you messages?” Jacen asked of Kendra.

“If your mother approves,” Kendra said, somewhat taken aback at the request.  Who would want to talk to her?

“Mom?”

“Yes, yes, of course.  Just like everybody else.  Now, get to bed.”  Hera wrapped her arm around Jacen and kissed his head. 

“Let’s go, Chopper.  I want you to tell me about my dad training Ezra on top of the ship again.”

Chopper made a series of beeps that sounded to Kendra like “Which time?”

“Pick one.”  Jacen dropped from his chair and followed the droid out of the room and down a short hallway.

“Good night!” Ahsoka said after him.

Hera poured more tea into Kendra’s cup.  “Thank you again for your work today.”

“I feel like I didn’t do much.  Your medical officers did all the work.”

“They appreciated you nonetheless.  I think that will go a long way to regaining the image of Force users among some of the crew.”

Kendra said, “Thank you for giving me the opportunity.”

“I had some supplies delivered to the ship.”

“Oh?” Ahsoka said.

Hera winked.  “For her, not for you.”

“Me?” Kendra asked.

“Just some things I thought a young woman out fighting bad guys would find useful.  And chocolate.”

Kendra would not argue with chocolate, though she wondered if chocolate was different elsewhere in the galaxy.

“How was the briefing earlier?” Ahsoka asked.

“Tiring.  I thought dealing with politics during the rebellion was hard, but now there are even more people convinced they are right.”

“And they didn’t fight in the war,” Ahsoka said.

“I try not to think of that,” Hera said.  “But it doesn’t help.  People who fought in the war are definitely easier to talk to.”

Kendra hadn’t thought much about the New Republic government, other than Master Edith said it wouldn’t be able to do much of anything this soon after the war.  What were the leaders doing during the war if not fighting in it?

“You said you had an idea on the map?” Ahsoka asked.

Hera leaned back.  “I think you know who could help you with it.”

“I don’t think she’d be interested.” Ahsoka crossed her arms and leaned on the table.

“She will,” Hera said,  “for Ezra.”

Ahsoka sighed and looked at her hands.  “My concern is she’d be too focused on Ezra.”

“That’s your only concern?”

“Is she even still on Lothal?” Ahsoka asked.  “Have you seen her recently?”

Lothal.  Kendra decided they must be talking about Sabine, Ahsoka’s former apprentice. 

“She’s still there.  She’s staying at Ezra’s old place in the tower.”  Hera shrugged.  “I get messages from her now and then; saw her maybe a year ago.”

“I’m sure Huyang would like to see her,” Ahsoka said.

“And then Kendra here could tell Jacen next time that she’s met his Aunt Sabine.”

Ahsoka looked at Kendra with a flash of concern but relaxed.  “That would be something.”

“Sabine was with me during the war,” Hera said to Kendra.  “I think you’d like her.  She’s not just a fighter, though, but an artist.  She sees things other people miss, maybe with this map.”

“Fine,” Ahsoka said.  “We’ll head to Lothal.  Worst case, she can’t open it.”

Read Chapter 16 – Trust in the Force